You made me cry and you don't even care
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
The beers last night were like the tears from god
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
