He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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