Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
