normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize