My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Too much gin, very little bucket
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize