Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
