does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
