this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize