i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
