Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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