letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
