Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
