Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
