Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Houston, we have a blender
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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