i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
