i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
