He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
That's when you crack a 10am beer
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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