What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
