How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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