Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
All the doctor said was why
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
