ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
