pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
