dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
