This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
