so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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