I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
