i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
