ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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