Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
