3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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