Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
