what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
