I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
