my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize