I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize