Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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