hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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