rhymes with "ouble enetration"
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
