You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
