There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
