She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
