I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
