Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
