Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
