just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
