you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize