I am in a vortex of obligation.
are you so shy because you have an std?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
