Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
