At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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