They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize