my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
