Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
