Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
