I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
