Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
