I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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