this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She's the barista slut.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I am one with the molecules
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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