would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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