im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
