So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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