I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize