yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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