I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I deserve this hangover.
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