I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize