The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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