As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
