my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
