let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
