I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
