That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
