Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i think i have two assholes
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
