Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
