OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
