No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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