the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
as a side note pls kill me
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
