very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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