that's an acceptable place to lick
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
