people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
